Happy was born sometime mid 14century from hap “chance, fortune”. A great majority of the European words for happy at first meant lucky (that’s true all the way from Greece to Ireland and Latin’s no exception).

It scares me to think how closely related happy is to haphazard. Even more so if I think of hazard, which actually is the old hasard- game of chance played with dice.

I saw “Another Year” last weekend (hmm, bittersweet comedy? Not sure. I know of the bitter bits, but then the sweet parts, only make the bitter, BITTER. Brilliantly scary (again, no idea whether such expression exists or I just made it up). Supposedly about friendship and happiness, it was so real, so British, so sad. So bitter and so true.

A linguistic path (a medium I completely trust) to suggest that happiness was not something you could control – dictated by Fortune, controlled by the stars, it was what happened to us, and that was clearly out of our hands. And thus does Fortune’s wheel turn treacherously And out of happiness bring men to sorrow. In other words, the wheel of fortune controls our happenstance, and hence our happiness. (C. Tales, the monk) Later, as featured in all schools of Classical thought, happiness – eudaimonia – could actually be earned. Yes, I used to have a theory like that too, a sort of system where you could save point towards it.

A happy couple planning their retirement together, entertaining friends and family, supporting their son, counselling lovesick friends. A lead couple whose obvious natural chemistry, tenderness and joy should have delighted me, managed to scare me instead.

a happiness hazard
as happiness comes, or goes haphazardly or by chance

Such a fine line between becoming a happy, kind-to-everyone-around lady close to retirement or, equally possible, a needy pathetic pisshead still trying to make sense of her life. (Sorry, Mary). All down to a game of chance played with dice and I can only hope we shall all be lucky/happy (same, same).

I started seeing this guy. Well, he wasn’t even that bad. I did like talking to him. He’d come up with very interesting stuff, and above all – he looked as if he was getting what I was trying to say. Not only that I have a very strong accent (to those of you who are lucky enough and never heard my English), but I also don’t often make much sense.

Answering this guy’s invite, we met up for drinks on a Sunday afternoon. Sunny day, and we sat by the river talking rubbish. So there we were analysing how people from different cultures express things differently. Which is true, as we’d never take the polite, gentle English way of putting things. We’re blunt and tend to save “love”, “lovely” and “would love to” for when we’re in love. Was a pleasant afternoon, but (as usual) I felt I had to be honest. In reply to his follow up email below

Diana,

G x x x

Romanian:

G

I managed to be as rude as usual:

Hey G,
Romanian only
Yes, cool – let’s meet up sometime soon; just so you’re aware, I don’t see it as a romantic thing, no chemistry really.

Unexpectedly, there came a funny answer:

F*ck that, as they say in Romanian! I think I’d like to wish you well and mean it; and it strikes me that the only way I would be able to maintain this affability would be at a distance…. (…)

Well said, G! Hope you’re well and you’ve given up reading this site!

Saudade is the incompleteness, the melancholic longing for something (someone) you were very found of and which is gone. A very sad tone and happy at the same time as you think about things that happened in the past. A turning towards the past or towards the future, a desire for something unattainable – sometimes just because it doesn’t exist.

It’s been said that if you ask 10 people to explain saudade or Fado each will come up with a different version because it’s deeply personal and it depends on the mood of the moment. Surely haven’t originated during the Great Portuguese Discoveries, as some may say (simply because saudade was found in use before 1415), but most probably given meaning by the sadness felt about those who departed to unknown seas never to be returned. May be completely unrelated, but I can’t help but thinking of Moorish songs and homesick sailors.

To be sure I managed to confuse you, poetry of my choice (can’t help it as usual – really proud to be ridiculously odd to love stuff like this):

One wish alone have I In the quiet of the night Beside the sea to die A peaceful sleep With the forest near Above, a heaven clear No candles shine Nor tomb I need, instead Let them for me a bed Of twigs entwine. M. Eminescu, One wish alone have I (Mai am un singur dor)

All sorts of ways of describing saudade, and I shall choose my favourite. For me it’s not about what I lost, but about the love that remains. For when you’re gone, I shall miss you, as my love for you stays. As promised, missing you will always bring a smile

We’ve got time
Octavian Paler

We’ve got time for everything,
to sleep, to always be on the run,
to regret having made mistakes, then to mistake again,
to judge others and absolve ourselves,
we’ve got time to read and time to write,
to make corrections and to regret we wrote,
we’ve got time to make plans not to respect them,
we’ve got time to believe in illusions, then later to search through their ashes.

We’ve got time for ambitions and diseases,
time to blame the fate and its details,
time to look at the clouds, to watch the adverts or a random accident
we’ve got time to banish our questions,
to delay giving answers
time to shatter dreams and to then re-invent them
we’ve got time to make friends, then time to lose them
we’ve got time to receive lessons to then forget about them
we’ve got time to be given gifts and not to understand them.
We’ve got time for everything,

We only haven’t got time for a bit of tenderness
When just about to make time for it, we die.

I learned a few things in life and I’d like to share them with you!!
I learned you can’t make someone love you
All you can do is to be loved.
The rest… depends on others.
I learned that regardless of how much I care
Others might not.
I learned that it takes years to build up trust
And just a few seconds to destroy it
I learned that it doesn’t matter WHAT you’ve got in life
But WHOM you got
I learned that your charm helps you for about 15 minutes
After that though you’d better be good at it (…)

I learned that regardless of how you cut
Any thing has two sides

I learned that we have to say kind, warm good-byes to our loved ones
As it might be the last time we see them

I learned that we can keep on going long
After we said we can’t anymore.

I learned that heroes do what they have to, when they have to
Regardless of the consequences

I learned that there are some that love you
But don’t know how to show it
I learned that when I am angry, I have the RIGHT to be angry
But no right to be mean

I learned that true friendship survives the distance
And so does true love
I learned that when someone doesn’t love you as you’d like
It doesn’t mean that they don’t truly love you

I learned that regardless how good a friend is
He is still going to hurt you sometimes
And you’ll have to forgive him for that.

I learned that it’s not always enough to be forgiven
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself
I learned that even though you’re in pain
The world won’t stop because of that.

I learned that the past and experiences can influence your personality
But YOU’re responsible for who you become
I learned that if two argue it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other
Also, if they don’t argue doesn’t prove they don’t.
I learned that sometime one must come first
Then his deeds.

I learned that two can look at the same thing
And see totally different things
I learned that regardless of what the immediate result may be
Those who can be honest to themselves succeed in life

I learned that your life can be changed in a few hours
By some that don’t even know you

I learned that when you think you haven’t got anything left to give
You’ll always find the strength to help a friend crying for help

I learned that writing
Same as speaking
Can soothe the soul

I learned that the ones you care for most
Are taken from you too soon…

I learned that is too hard to see
The line between being kind, not hurting anyone and stating your opinion.

I learned to love
So I can be loved.

I learned,
by Octavian Paler

New favourite word at the moment, as I thoroughly enjoyed this not-as-culinary-as-it-sounds scrambling – lying in between hill walking and climbing! Already excited about the December one! Oh, and before I forget, that’s close to Edale, a charming village and a valley in the Dark Peak Area of the Peak District, the start of the Pennine Way – England’s most famous long distance footpath stretching from Derbyshire to the Scottish Border.

Now about sandwich: some of you might’ve already heard, yes, he was a real person – John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich (1718-1792); he is said to have once spent twenty-four hours at the gaming-table without other refreshment than some slices of cold beef placed between slices of toast. Soon his fellows gamblers started to order ”same as sandwich”.

I wouldn’t be very sure that gambling was the reason he needed bits of bread not to get his fingers greasy; there could’ve been many other reasons to stop him leaving his desk to have a proper meal. A busy schedule can stop you from making your bed, cooking, going to the gym, brushing your hair (I only know these things from my friends’ experiences, of course). So I guess the gambling bit is there only to make the story more exciting. But then I wonder what would cleaning-your-teeth-while-cycling be called tomorrow?

It really fascinates me to find out how words came about. Looking back, I happily notice that no one in my family was either a keen gambler, or an extremely busy person; otherwise, you never know, we could all be having Varbanescus! )

Whispering dome
And London rain
A theatre of dreams
A bridge of hope
Angels I miss.

Yesterday I learned a new word: lemur. As always, as soon as I heard it, I started asking myself about its etymology. Where did it come from? Why would you call this funny animal lemur and not something else? I did find some answers and here I am, sharing this with you. 

It seems that the name comes from the Latin lemures, “spirits of the dead” in Roman mythology. They were named so for their big, reflective eyes, for their nocturnal habits and ghostly stares. Also, add the odd noises they make to get the full picture. 

Also, Lemuralia was a pagan festival during which the Romans remembered the dead and cast out restless spirits, a sort of annual exorcisms of the malevolent ghosts. 

Legend has it that in ancient China, somewhere around the 2nd century BCE, three ingredients that were commonly used in field kitchens were mistakenly mixed together; this combination exploded with a huge bang! Everyone felt sure they had found the perfect way to chase away evil spirits! The noisy concoction became a favorite way to celebrate weddings, battle victories and the New Year, all the while protecting against those unwelcome spirits.

The new creation with its magical properties invited experimentation. By 1040 the Chinese had perfected how to make a “Fire Pill”. There were several recipes each creating a different firework effect and colour. The ingredients and methods used to make fireworks today are very similar to those in the ancient Chinesse recipes.

Fireworks were one of the many exotic discoveries that Marco Polo brought home from his adventures in China. Thanks to him, Italy and eventually the rest of Europe could enjoy the night magic of fireworks. It wasn’t until the early America’s earliest settlers brought their enthusiasm for fireworks to the United States. English colonists set them off in Jamestown in 1608, enjoying a bit of English popular entertainment and impressing Native Americans.

Hey, this post wasn’t about fireworks; I got carried away again. It was about the Celtic origin of bonfires. About the old Samhain when animal bones were burnt to ward off evil spirits. About the word “bonfire” being a corruption of “bone fire”. About pagan festivities and about Halloween. Too late now.

Next year.

- sleep well -

It’s about early mornings and Canon. Apart from being an acronym, Eos, is the goddess of the dawn (Latin Aurora). She wakes up every morning to open the way to her brother, Helios, the sun. Rising up into the sky at the start of each day, she disperses the mists of night with her rays of light.