I started seeing this guy. Well, he wasn’t even that bad. I did like talking to him. He’d come up with very interesting stuff, and above all – he looked as if he was getting what I was trying to say. Not only that I have a very strong accent (to those of you who are lucky enough and never heard my English), but I also don’t often make much sense.

Answering this guy’s invite, we met up for drinks on a Sunday afternoon. Sunny day, and we sat by the river talking rubbish. So there we were analysing how people from different cultures express things differently. Which is true, as we’d never take the polite, gentle English way of putting things. We’re blunt and tend to save “love”, “lovely” and “would love to” for when we’re in love. Was a pleasant afternoon, but (as usual) I felt I had to be honest. In reply to his follow up email below

Diana,

G x x x

Romanian:

G

I managed to be as rude as usual:

Hey G,
Romanian only
Yes, cool – let’s meet up sometime soon; just so you’re aware, I don’t see it as a romantic thing, no chemistry really.

Unexpectedly, there came a funny answer:

F*ck that, as they say in Romanian! I think I’d like to wish you well and mean it; and it strikes me that the only way I would be able to maintain this affability would be at a distance…. (…)

Well said, G! Hope you’re well and you’ve given up reading this site!

Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.

Who says all these? Andy Warhol. I don’t personally think he knew much about love. Most people think of Warhol as asexual, merely a “voyeur”. He did not see anything wrong with being alone. And I wonder if it’s possible to have a love affair that lasts forever.

The biggest price you pay for love is that you have somebody around, you can’t be on your own (which is always so much better).

The best love is not-to-think-about-it love.

FUNNY people are the only people I ever get interested in, because as soon as somebody is not funny, they bore me. And regardless of what he (A. W.) says, being funny is being sexy. He used to get jealousy attacks all the time. He thought he may be one of the most jealous people in the world.

People should fall in love with their eyes closed. Just close your eyes. Don’t look.

People’s fantasies are what give them problems. If you didn’t have fantasies you wouldn’t have problems because you’d just take whatever was there. But then you wouldn’t have romance, because romance is finding your fantasy in people who don’t have it. As some do love me for who I am NOT.

I don’t know anybody who doesn’t have a fantasy. Everybody must have one.

One of the Seven Wonders of Portugal, Palacio National da Pena, a fairy tale palace standing on top of a hill above Sintra is said to be the oldest palace inspired by European Romanticism. Thought I know a few things about Romanticism – as a believer in cross-cultural currents- I know of Romantic poetry, and drama, painting, music and even of the “age of reflection” impact on science (love it! I have to write on this soon) but seeing this castle made me wonder what is it that makes Romantic architecture, Romantic.

Imagination? Intuitive perception? Visually strong colour combinations or mood? Strong emotions? (…) Drama! Dream like pictures maybe?

I can’t go wrong if I say Palacio da Pena reflects the mood of Romantic lyrical poetry of that time. I’m not just saying it: there’s evidence. It’s Byron who wrote in a letter to a friend that the “village of Sintra is the most beautiful in the world” and called it a “glorious Eden”. You can’t really go more Romantic than that, can you? I am sure you expected a looooooong theory to explain what makes this palace Romantic. Well, I guess Byron’s testimony will do. He sounds very convincing, even managed to make me choose Sintra over Evora – a long-time (childhood, in fact) favourite. For many years most visitors haven’t been aware of the original chromatic variety of the palace; it used to be entirely grey, as the colours of its facades faded. It was only at the end of the 20th century that the original colours were restored.

Romantic writers experimented with opium and other drugs (no names, sorry) and that’s because they wanted to drive out reason just so imagination can take away. Same did the Surrealists looking for states in which what is deep down in our minds may come to surface. I love the strange confusion between dream and reality, I’ve got imagination and hope and therefore true freedom. I believe in the reality of our dreams (yes, Dali’s, you read my mind)

Call me irrational (please do, I’ll love it!) and let’s never talk about you can’t save the world, Didi thing again!

Expectations are scary, especially as they’ll keep growing bigger and bigger with each positive sign. A smile, a few nice words, a wink or a midnight text can do miracles, and your little small wishes become big expectations. Overnight. Well, now you’re lost: (…) you all know what follows, not long now before disappointment comes along.

Whenever I am disappointed, it’s my own fault. I’ve been long trying to throw the blame upon others and I know it doesn’t work. They’re just being who they are. My expectations are at fault.

The advice is simple: just drop expectations! Don’t think you can get away with lowering them, no. Just drop. Sounds good, but can we really take this pressure of ourselves? Can we let others off the hook of our expectations? Remember it all started with wishful thinking (not sure you can help that), a smile and a few nice words.

Don’t allow your wishes to become expectations (this word really freaks me out) unless you’re ready to be bitterly disappointed.

- happy for a dandelion in the back garden, wish to be taking photos in the orchard tomorrow, not expecting a sunny day though -

Tonight we’ll be talking about the exciting new world of digital media (yes, I should be reading on digital strategies tonight) and the Roman town of Pompeii (no, I should NOT even touch books on ancient history).

2. Situation Analysiss

What do they teach us on a Marketing strategies for engaging the digital generation course? Well, they start with the beginning. And the beginning of marketing sounds as follows:

“Etched on a dusty kerbstone amidst the ruins of the ancient Roman city of Pompeii, you’ll find an engraved p£n!s, strategically carved to point the way to what, at that time, was one of the most popular brothels in the area. Guides will tell you it’s the “oldest advertisement in the world, for the oldest business in the world”. While the truth of that claim is debatable, the phallic ad is certainly very old” The Pompeii p£n!s was buried by the eruption of Mount Vesuvius, which destroyed the city on 24 August, AD 79, but the true origins of marketing go back much further that that. (…)”

3. Objectives (goals):

Well, this is why I love marketing: it’s full of surprises! Initial objective was to get on with my emarketing final project draft, but as you see, we end up discussing one of the myths of Pompeii (their actual number is scary) – the brothels.

4. Tactics and actions:

Funny place to read again about the legendary number of brothels in Pompeii, most likely, only one. Not sure there was much promotion (display advertising here) needed, I’d say 100% market share should be relatively easy to obtain for the only existing brothel in the area (therefore by far the most popular!). I am afraid we have been too easily taken by the artistic sketchy image of the brothel and pimp given by Roman comedy (indeed a mirror of those times, but one to turn Roman society upside down, and not to be taken literally).

Pompeii is full of archaeological traps and the truth is that we can’t really distinguish between the dedicated brothel and any of the other places in town where sex and money were not kept separate.

Most of the prostitutes in Pompeii were probably the barmaids or the landladies who sometimes slept with customers after closing time, sometimes for money. Researchers doubt any of them thought of themselves as prostitutes, or called their work place a brothel.

5. Conclusions:

Sorry to disappoint you, but it appears that the search for the Pompeian brothel is a category mistake. Sex for money was very common back then and almost as diffused through the town as eating, drinking and sleeping. Except in one case and I shall be back on that another time

6. Control:

The only place that meets all the criteria to have possibly been a dedicated brothel usually proves to offer the tourist only a brief pleasure. A stream of tourists queue for it, but it has been calculated that the average visit lasts roughly three minutes. Disappointed visitors say the local guides do their best to make it appealing and I guess it’s true, as I heard some not entirely accurate stories. It’s a shame really and, sadly, we forget how sceptical scholarship can sometimes be more exciting then sensationalism ☹

Some local guides have been heard to explain:

“The paintings have a practical purpose. The prostitutes couldn’t speak Latin, you see. So clients had to point to a picture before they went in to let the girls know what they wanted.”

Not sure a brief visit time of 3 minutes and a KFC like menu display makes this place a brothel.

7. Recommendations:

The very date of the explosion is another myth, as the real date probably was a few months later than usually thought, so my personal recommendation would be never to trust marketers: we are trained to try and pass a fancy-not-at all-accurate image as the truth

- this plan is a mock-up; don’t give it too much attention-

Saudade is the incompleteness, the melancholic longing for something (someone) you were very found of and which is gone. A very sad tone and happy at the same time as you think about things that happened in the past. A turning towards the past or towards the future, a desire for something unattainable – sometimes just because it doesn’t exist.

It’s been said that if you ask 10 people to explain saudade or Fado each will come up with a different version because it’s deeply personal and it depends on the mood of the moment. Surely haven’t originated during the Great Portuguese Discoveries, as some may say (simply because saudade was found in use before 1415), but most probably given meaning by the sadness felt about those who departed to unknown seas never to be returned. May be completely unrelated, but I can’t help but thinking of Moorish songs and homesick sailors.

To be sure I managed to confuse you, poetry of my choice (can’t help it as usual – really proud to be ridiculously odd to love stuff like this):

One wish alone have I In the quiet of the night Beside the sea to die A peaceful sleep With the forest near Above, a heaven clear No candles shine Nor tomb I need, instead Let them for me a bed Of twigs entwine. M. Eminescu, One wish alone have I (Mai am un singur dor)

All sorts of ways of describing saudade, and I shall choose my favourite. For me it’s not about what I lost, but about the love that remains. For when you’re gone, I shall miss you, as my love for you stays. As promised, missing you will always bring a smile

Hope is the thing with feathers—
That perches in the soul—
And sings the tune without the words—
And never stops—at all—

Autumn feather from Gog Magog Downs – not just some hills, but the giant who turned his back and went away after being rejected by the nymph Granta (River Cam).

The idea of doing Captain Corelli’s Mandolin came about at the Fringe in ’98 and the first production opened in ’99. Yes, at the Fringe. The original production cost less than 1000 pounds, and it’s amazing to see how a mosaic floorcloth with a motif of dolphins and mandolins, a painting, a bloodstained wall, 2 chickens, a tuba, a motorbike and a goat can help create a fantastic atmosphere. Real people, a “not-a-production-company-at-all”, no agent, no publicity officer, but passion and a policy that’s very close to my heart: “it’s got to be interesting, fun and available to everyone“

02.11 am back soon!

We’ve got time
Octavian Paler

We’ve got time for everything,
to sleep, to always be on the run,
to regret having made mistakes, then to mistake again,
to judge others and absolve ourselves,
we’ve got time to read and time to write,
to make corrections and to regret we wrote,
we’ve got time to make plans not to respect them,
we’ve got time to believe in illusions, then later to search through their ashes.

We’ve got time for ambitions and diseases,
time to blame the fate and its details,
time to look at the clouds, to watch the adverts or a random accident
we’ve got time to banish our questions,
to delay giving answers
time to shatter dreams and to then re-invent them
we’ve got time to make friends, then time to lose them
we’ve got time to receive lessons to then forget about them
we’ve got time to be given gifts and not to understand them.
We’ve got time for everything,

We only haven’t got time for a bit of tenderness
When just about to make time for it, we die.

I learned a few things in life and I’d like to share them with you!!
I learned you can’t make someone love you
All you can do is to be loved.
The rest… depends on others.
I learned that regardless of how much I care
Others might not.
I learned that it takes years to build up trust
And just a few seconds to destroy it
I learned that it doesn’t matter WHAT you’ve got in life
But WHOM you got
I learned that your charm helps you for about 15 minutes
After that though you’d better be good at it (…)

I learned that regardless of how you cut
Any thing has two sides

I learned that we have to say kind, warm good-byes to our loved ones
As it might be the last time we see them

I learned that we can keep on going long
After we said we can’t anymore.

I learned that heroes do what they have to, when they have to
Regardless of the consequences

I learned that there are some that love you
But don’t know how to show it
I learned that when I am angry, I have the RIGHT to be angry
But no right to be mean

I learned that true friendship survives the distance
And so does true love
I learned that when someone doesn’t love you as you’d like
It doesn’t mean that they don’t truly love you

I learned that regardless how good a friend is
He is still going to hurt you sometimes
And you’ll have to forgive him for that.

I learned that it’s not always enough to be forgiven
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself
I learned that even though you’re in pain
The world won’t stop because of that.

I learned that the past and experiences can influence your personality
But YOU’re responsible for who you become
I learned that if two argue it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other
Also, if they don’t argue doesn’t prove they don’t.
I learned that sometime one must come first
Then his deeds.

I learned that two can look at the same thing
And see totally different things
I learned that regardless of what the immediate result may be
Those who can be honest to themselves succeed in life

I learned that your life can be changed in a few hours
By some that don’t even know you

I learned that when you think you haven’t got anything left to give
You’ll always find the strength to help a friend crying for help

I learned that writing
Same as speaking
Can soothe the soul

I learned that the ones you care for most
Are taken from you too soon…

I learned that is too hard to see
The line between being kind, not hurting anyone and stating your opinion.

I learned to love
So I can be loved.

I learned,
by Octavian Paler